You have a choice

I know, the whole choice thing is pretty cliche these days.  Many people are afraid to hit the proverbial road and look for a position that will allow them to feel fulfilled, or get a raise, or whatever their reason for not liking their current position.  Why are they afraid?  Many are just paralyzed by the fear mongering you hear on the news, through friends, or, heaven forbid, coming from their leadership.  Here is a good example: "We're waiting for the other shoe to fall".  I've heard this mantra coming from my leadership for THREE years.  It's been said at staff meetings and at the company Christmas party!  How is that going to instill confidence in your team?  You get the point.  Negativity will come  at you from all directions, and it oftentimes feels like it is an insurmountable opponent.  But guess what?  You have a choice.  You can stand your ground and refuse to drink the Kool-Aid (or Flavor-Aid if you are old-school) and make it known, right then and there, that you will not be going on that magic carpet ride.  If you walk the talk, then you are going to be surprised at how easy it really is to find that position you have always been look for.  However, you have to overcome, as Steven Pressfield says, the resistance.  In fact, if you are feeling trapped, go find The War of Art and take a couple of evenings and read it.  It will change your world!  And remember, sometimes the hardest choice is the best choice.  Don't just sit back and let someone else drive your life, you need to be in the driver's seat 100% of the time.  You have a choice!

Dealing with That Person...

You know who I mean - that one person who crawled out of their own personal hell to spread hate and dissension at the office.  Hopefully you are not that person.  If you are, stop reading now.  They may be a project manager, or even worse, the head cheese.  Nothing says I value you like sitting in a meeting and listening to someone find a flaw in everyone or everything that people in the office do on a daily basis.  Even worse is getting cornered in your cube or office.  The situation can be dire, and you may contemplate passing out to get rid of the person (bad idea, they may try to resuscitate you).  How do you, the cube dweller, a person not in a position to change personnel, deal with "that person"?  There are a number of way to confront this situation, so let's start with the worst way and work backward to the best situation

Confrontation

You spend a few hours the night before role playing the confrontation (with or without Wild West music), and bide your time to finally put "that person" in their place.  It may be that someone told you to confront bullies when you were a kid.  I did that once in high school, to the star wrestler who had a penchant for bullying soccer players.  Not a good result.  I escaped (barely).  Confronting the office bully will result in one of two things - they will curtail their genetic disposition for a little while, or you will get it even worse from that point forward.  Mostly likely the latter.  You might as well paint a bulls-eye on your back.  As Andy Andrews says, "Directly confronting what someone believes is a waste of time".  Or, as Dave Ramsey says, "Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still."  Resist that urge to unleash the dogs of war.  It will not go as planned.  Trust me.

Complain

You rally the troops and spend productive work time complaining and gossiping about "that person".  End result?  Same situation, only now there is a underlying tension throughout the office.  If you work for an effective leader this may lead to your release back to the wilds of unemployment.  Even worse, the very person you are complaining about gets wind of the dissension, and decides to turn it up a notch.  Way to go, hero!

Remember the Golden Rule

No, this isn't a cop-out attempt.  There is a high probability that there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the personality of the office bully.  Best thing you can do for yourself, and your ever increasing cortisol levels, is to just chalk it up to another one of life's lessons and move out smartly.  Treat that person the way you would like to be treated.  Don't gossip, don't complain, and don't confront.  Try to knock them over with kindness.  I'm not advocating sucking up, I'm just trying to clear the air in the office.  Maybe, and this is just a maybe, you can help the entire place by setting the example.  You'll be a better person and a better co-worker regardless of the outcome.

Work-Life Integration

 It's not mysterious, and it's not like what you see on TV.  I'm saying you should be friends with your co-workers (okay, maybe not all of them), and if you can't, then you need to pack it up and go find someplace you can.  But first, a flashback...

The Let Down

 

A team leader in my company recently told me, "This job has one function: to fund my lifestyle".  What a letdown!  Almost like finding out that Groundhog Day isn't a national holiday (don't get me started on "Columbus Day".  A holiday for getting lost?  Really?).  I'm not advocating for those people who believe they live to work.  That crowd is delusional and in need of serious medication.  In my situation I actually chalk this up to the company losing (or never having) its culture.  Many of you may be scratching your head with the "company culture, eh?  I thought that was something from those leadership infomercials".  Let's use Zappos as an example. 

The Case Study (And Free Advertisement)

Tony Hsieh wrote about company culture and values in Delivering Happiness and made it pretty clear that these two things are the bedrock of Zappos.  It's no small wonder that his focus on culture and values has moved Zappos into one of the best places to work (#11 in 2012).  The company is phenomenal.  Employees are hired based upon how well they can integrate into, and contribute to, the company culture.  The important take-away?  The company core values are written down, and the management and owners make sure that these values, the foundation of the culture, are always communicated and encouraged regularly (not just a slide at the annual meeting).  Since the employees are part of a great culture, they also tend to be friends and have relationships outside of work.  Am I saying you shouldn't have non-work friends?  Not at all.  But do you have any people at work you would hang out with?  If not, why?  

What Now?

It's difficult to approach company leadership and ask questions about the core values and culture.  Many small businesses were started by the current set of leaders, and they may still be in that mindset of "It's not the why, it's the how and the when".  Working in a culture-less company is a very heavy burden for workers to bear.  If you are in this situation, take a moment and jot down some ideas about the culture and take them to a team leader or company leader.  Ask some hard questions (in a tactful way).  If they are less than receptive then you may have a decision to make.  Truly worthwhile work is something that must resonate with your core values, and if you cannot determine what your company values really are, then it may be time to start examining the situation.  A "thank goodness it's Friday, oh no it's Monday!" approach isn't how you want to spend your working life.  If you can't stand who you work with, then you need to change them or change you.  Plain and simple.